Sun, sand, sea!!!

Woohoo! Finally went to Sentosa again. I missed my favourite island man. So so so so excited and glad to be back. Hehe. I'm addicted to Sentosa man. Wish I can stay here and be and Islander. So cool. Relax, chill and laid-back lifestyle with no worries about the world and whatever that's going on. Cruise my way through life being happy-go-lucky and easy going. Everyday would be a whole new day without pressures. Ain't that what everyone wants? Some private island to retreat to and just live happily ever after with your friends and loved ones. I think that's what I want. Haha.

But a dream is a dream.

"Snap back to reality..."

Sigh. Shit happens all the time. And it happened again today at the end of such a wonderful day. And what caused it? ME! No surprise there. It's such a usual thing. Somehow and in someway, I would just manage to do and say something wrong that would upset someone and cause the person to detest me and not trust me ever again. I think I have a knack for that. Score one for the loser. Crap. Feels like crap. Won't explain here or at all. So don't bother asking. The person whom I've did this bad and stupid thing would know it when she reads it. Yupp.Gosh. I need an ice pack and a cold beer. Head's killing me man.

Hmm. Random thought appearing...

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Done...

Okay. Here goes my random thought again.
What exactly is the difference between a man and a boy?

Haha.. Weird question, I know. Something that most would wave off saying that the answer's so obvious. But seriously, think about it man. Think beyond the physical and into the mental, spiritual and emotional. What is the difference that makes a man able to carry the label of MAN and a boy the label BOY. Is it that distinct? Or is there a mix of both in a person at both phases of his life? Haha. I would say it is quite complicating. Let's say right now. Transitioning from a teenager into adulthood. Supposedly a YOUNG ADULT. So does that make me a MAN or a BOY? Is it just determined by age? Doubt so. There definitely is more to it. Haha. I dare say that I've a good mix of both right now at this point in time in life. Still a boy at heart, yet thoughts of a man. Rough patch to go through man. Conflicts in the character of a boy and a man is like a continuous war. You know those wars that drag on for years? This is how it goes. There would be times when everything is quiet and things seem okay. Then someone would do something stupid and the fighting occurs again. Haha. That is how it is with this patch that I'm going through. Sometimes things are quiet and alright. I'm happy and everyone's happy. But then something would spark, a misfire or the crack of a twig, and the whole thing would erupt again. Then I would start doing stupid things, saying dumber things, and stepping all over on people's toes. Screwed up. Haha.

Ok.. End of random thought.. Think that was quite random.. Like way out.. =p

Enough for now. Time for a shower and nursing my tender and sensitive red skin. Oh, before I go...

mailto:#$!^@*##%!^#*!%#*@%#!*@#^%$!*#%!**&^&$!#@&%

;-p

Up high...

Random thought of the day: "Why are the high places so tough and lonely?"

I guess weariness played a part in dampening my spirits last night. But it did brought this random thought into mind. The high places are often places that are lonesome and tough to endure. It's like getting to the top of a high mountain and staying there. At first the mountain-top experience makes you go all light headed and excited. Your spirits are high and you're all happy about being at the top of the world. However that thought changes when you start to stay at that spot. As the days and weeks and months go by, you start to feel all alone. The air is thin so living gets tough as each day goes by. Lack of oxygen makes you feel that you're suffocating. Your body goes weary real quick and you're just so tired. I guess that kinda sums up what I was thinking about.

All this was random but definitely not without context. Was just thinking of the position that God put me in. As a CGL and Area Overseer, with great responsibilities and much more things to handle. At first it may seem like such a glorious thing. Makes one feel so excited and enthusiastic about it. But then, as the days go by, it gets tougher. Trying to juggle between personal growth and ensuring the growth of the youths in the area, and helping the other CGLs in the area along. On top of that, trying to ensure that what I'm doing ain't something out of routine or merely to fulfill my religious obligations, but to be sincerely interested in the lives of the youths and loving them with the love of God.

I suppose time and again a leader would feel this way, since we're all on our own mountain tops trying to live the life that God has put us into. And I think relying on God to provide us with the energy and spiritual sustenance is the key to surviving on the mountain tops. Of cos, we can always shout from one peak to the other once in awhile to check on each other, giving each other encouragements and support. =p

Haha.. End of random thought. ;-p

Pent up and about to EXPLODE

I just thought of something. The reason why I blog is so that when I have something that I can't seem to say, I'll at least have a place to let it out. That could come in two ways: Good or Bad. As for today, it is so gonna be BAD.

Not sure what the heck is wrong with me but have been feeling rather frustrated and pissed off and touchy and irritable and angry and emotional and enraged recently for no rhyme or reason at all. Losing my cool at every little thing and every single shit that happens. Currently feeling all pent up with all the negative emotions and rage that I'm unsure what to do, and wondering seriously what the heck is wrong at all. I know inside me everything's screaming at the top of its voice or whatever you may call it. Really really want to let it out. That BIG and LOUD shout of the F word at the top of my lungs. It's like vulgarity wanting to burst out of me and it sucks cos I'm holding it all back and in cos I must not do it. Ain't exactly a holy act. God. ARGH~~~~~~~!!!!! I'm so so so so so gonna explode if this carries on. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG!?!? The weird thing is, I don't know what's lacking that I want, what's missing that I need. I wana sleep forever though. UGH!

A bumpy ride...calm seas?

Just a little update on what has been going on in my life.Last week had been real rough in camp. Although it just came and went in a flash, it still was quite draining and hectic. Today started off with an unusually high dose of punishment and torture. The two instructors were having Monday Blues and in bad moods. So we paid the price.

Thinking back on the years, I realised that all these "hardships" that I'm currently going through ain't something that I cannot bear. In comparison to what happened in the past, this would be considered a mere appetizer to the main course of sufferings. Realising this wasn't easy actually. Not at the moment when you were forced to drink one gigantic bottle of water down, made to do 40 push-ups before and after, run to the parade square for drills, return to the workshop for more drills, and the list goes on... Haha. But thank God that the day is finally over, and all I can do is pray and hope for a better day tomorrow. Surely God is in control and all things are possible. So I'll just go with the flow and rely on His strength to go on. Yeah. Basically, I have nothing much to comment today. Too tired I suppose. =p

你最珍貴

(男)明年這個時間 約在這個地點
(女)記得帶著玫瑰 打上領帶繫上思念
(男)動情時刻最美 真心的給不累
(女)太多的愛怕醉 沒人疼愛再美的人 也會憔悴

*(男)我會送你紅色玫瑰 你別拿一生淚眼相對
(女)你知道我愛流淚
(男)未來的日子有你才美 夢才會真一點
(女)未來的日子是否才美 夢才會真一點 *

#(女)我學著在你愛裡沉醉 你守護著我穿過黑夜
(男)我不撒退
(合)我願意 這條情路 相守相隨 你最珍貴 #

(男)動情時刻最美 真心的給不累
(女)太多的愛怕醉 沒人疼愛 再美的人
(合)也會憔悴

Repeat *

(女)我學著在你愛裡沉醉 你守護著我穿過黑夜
(男)我不撒退
(合)我願意 這條情路 相守相隨
(男)你最珍貴
(女)你最珍貴

-finally finally found this song. such a beautiful chinese song. and it's one of the rare songs which i really like. haha. =D