Feel my despair...
It has been so long since i last blogged. Was either too tired or too lazy to do so. Right now i'm really just forcing myself to type in this entry. Body's too weak and soft to do anything actually. Wrecked by my usual throat infection and fluctuating temperature.
Just spent some time thinking on all the things that i wanted to do, and who i want to be for God. Throughout this year there were two times when i was back on form, ready to run full steam ahead and do the things God has entrusted to me with all excellence and then more. But it seems like everytime the sickening devil would get in the way and cause a major traffic jam in my service. It happened before when i was a psyched up to hold CG at my home before the CG season started. I was trapped in a month plus of work in camp that i even lost the trust and bonds of the brothers i've come to love and care for. Then this time it happened again. The first CG meeting today. I had it all planned out and i was so excited and ready for it. It was gonna be a blast and i believe it would be the turning point for the CG. But the idiotic devil had to come along and strike me down with my most hated illness and render me helpless and powerless. I know i should not be disheartened. But i guess at times like this one cannot help but feel just a little discouraged and melodramatic about the events that have came up. I wish God would give me an answer to all that has happened.
Hmm. It's raining now. So suddenly and with the sky so bright. Feels like the heavens are crying. I feel like crying too. God, where are you in this? I wish i could see Your face. I feel alone. Restore the peace and joy in my heart Lord Jesus.
Just spent some time thinking on all the things that i wanted to do, and who i want to be for God. Throughout this year there were two times when i was back on form, ready to run full steam ahead and do the things God has entrusted to me with all excellence and then more. But it seems like everytime the sickening devil would get in the way and cause a major traffic jam in my service. It happened before when i was a psyched up to hold CG at my home before the CG season started. I was trapped in a month plus of work in camp that i even lost the trust and bonds of the brothers i've come to love and care for. Then this time it happened again. The first CG meeting today. I had it all planned out and i was so excited and ready for it. It was gonna be a blast and i believe it would be the turning point for the CG. But the idiotic devil had to come along and strike me down with my most hated illness and render me helpless and powerless. I know i should not be disheartened. But i guess at times like this one cannot help but feel just a little discouraged and melodramatic about the events that have came up. I wish God would give me an answer to all that has happened.
Hmm. It's raining now. So suddenly and with the sky so bright. Feels like the heavens are crying. I feel like crying too. God, where are you in this? I wish i could see Your face. I feel alone. Restore the peace and joy in my heart Lord Jesus.
posted by al at 10:21 PM
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