Holding out for... you...

Hmm. Had a nice chat with august today. For the first time ever he was willing to share about his relationships and stuff. I'm glad to hear that he would be getting back with ven. Haha. Today was great. Talked lots and had alot of fun while studying. Fooled about and as usual made a fool of ourselves. After that went to cut hair. Haha. Was stranded on an isolated bus stop at Rideout MacDonalds. So we did what we do. Screamed ourselves silly with Linkin Park and Aerosmith songs. Heh. Shiok shiok. Good stress buster. Hahaha. Hmm my haircut was not too bad. Second time got what I wanted. August was happy with his too. Haha. Guess we hit the jackpot this time. Set. Now we know where to cut hair liao. ;-p Well, I don't really know what I want in terms of relationship-wise. At least august knows who he wants for sure. As for me, I know too. But, I don't know. Shit. Contradiction. Haha. I don't know man, whether I should hold out my arm and wait. For her to come running by -again- and sweep me away. That's why I don't dare commit myself right now to anyone. I don't think it will be fair at all to the other girl. Cause I know, deep inside, my heart would always hold on. Right now I'm just surpressing it, keeping it buried. Don't want try to resurface anything either, till I know she's running by, coming back. I'm not sure if she would, but I really hope she does I guess. Mixed emotions, mixed feelings. I'm upset with myself. Why can't all these be simpler? Crap. I guess I'll focus on being friends for now. Don't think about all these relationships and stuff. Can't commit anyway. No time, no energy, no money. I'm broke, stressed, tired and screwed. AAARRRGGGHHH!!! __