just one day...

She's very special. This girl that I've met. Very unique indeed. Noone else I know of reminds me of her. Noone else makes me think of her. She's on my mind every now and then. On days that are sunny, on days that are rainy, on days when I had nothing to do, on days when I'm bogged down with tasks, on days that I'm happy, on days that I'm sad, on days that I'm all glad and cheerful, on days that I'm pissed and uptight. She'll be there.

The day was fine. It seemed like a normal outing between two old friends. Just good friends that could connect. Friends that seem like they have known each other for ages and have managed to preserve that beautiful friendship till today. It was going to be a simple day. Until we looked into each others' eyes.

I missed the days and times we spent. Just sitting around watching tv or listening to music. Just holding onto each other without a care about the world. I missed the way she looks at me. Her eyes filled with the adoration that I would never expect anyone to have for me. I miss the way she says "Babe..." in her dreamy whisper. The way she says "miss you babe..." and letting it linger in the air. I miss the way she smiles when she stretches her arms wide open asking for a bear hug. And I miss the way we hug so closely and lovingly. I miss the smell of her. I miss the smell of her hair. I miss looking down into her eyes and running my fingers slowly through her hair. I miss kissing her on her forehead. I miss the times I tug her into bed before I leave. Patting her to sleep as I try to sing her a lullaby that I cooked up. I miss saying a little prayer to God as I looked at her, asking Him to keep her safe and protected from bad dreams. I miss the simple things we did. The simple words we said. The moments when we did not even need to say a word. I miss her. Alot.

I know I love her alot. I really do. I remember telling her that I would never love anyone else except her. That I have loved her, is still loving her, and would always love her. And I meant those words. And sometimes I just wonder. Why is it that when everything of us fits the other so perfectly, it just doesn't end the way we thought we would? Why did God allow us to meet, to fall so deeply in love and to feel so genuinely for each other, yet it is because of Him that we are forced to come apart? I wish I know the answer. I wish things were so much simpler. If only the issues were as superficial as me cheating on her, that a slap on the face would be able to end it totally. But things aren't that simple. Things in life have never been that simple I guess.

Maybe someday something would snap. Maybe someday we would see clearly. Then maybe on that day, just maybe, we would be forever. I really pray for that day.