*kaboom*

woah... i'm stunned... i'm confused... i'm lost... what am i supposed to do? where am i supposed to go? huh....? my directions are so messed up now..... i'm the kind who likes a planned schedule, knowing what's coming up next and what i'm supposed to do..... but now i don't bcos of danny and church and work and driving and NS..... all the plans are not set... all the plans are not confirmed thanks to danny and the task at hand... not that i blame him but at least a plan would be good... i feel my head spinning outta control... i'm sorta in a daze... unsure of what to do next... God... i need Your direction... show me something... guide me... one more thing... i feel my heart aching at times... breaking too... what for? who for? why? i keep thinking of having someone... a companion... a girlfriend? but i myself know that as much as i may want to, i'm not ready... i just know myself too well... i would screw it up given my current situation... i said before... right now, i can only be a good fren... a damn good fren even if i have to say it... someone special someone close... but not enough to commit to a relationship... the responsibilities are too great for me right now... my expectations are too high and noone meets them... maybe i don't even meet anyone else's expectations too... sigh... i should stop thinking of this... should just concentrate on being the bestest and goodest of a fren as i can be... i'll be there for whoever who needs me... doesn't matter if noone is there for me in return... it's alright... that's how love should be... it's sacrificial... yea... i love you all my frens... God bless.. =)