Feel my despair...

It has been so long since i last blogged. Was either too tired or too lazy to do so. Right now i'm really just forcing myself to type in this entry. Body's too weak and soft to do anything actually. Wrecked by my usual throat infection and fluctuating temperature.

Just spent some time thinking on all the things that i wanted to do, and who i want to be for God. Throughout this year there were two times when i was back on form, ready to run full steam ahead and do the things God has entrusted to me with all excellence and then more. But it seems like everytime the sickening devil would get in the way and cause a major traffic jam in my service. It happened before when i was a psyched up to hold CG at my home before the CG season started. I was trapped in a month plus of work in camp that i even lost the trust and bonds of the brothers i've come to love and care for. Then this time it happened again. The first CG meeting today. I had it all planned out and i was so excited and ready for it. It was gonna be a blast and i believe it would be the turning point for the CG. But the idiotic devil had to come along and strike me down with my most hated illness and render me helpless and powerless. I know i should not be disheartened. But i guess at times like this one cannot help but feel just a little discouraged and melodramatic about the events that have came up. I wish God would give me an answer to all that has happened.

Hmm. It's raining now. So suddenly and with the sky so bright. Feels like the heavens are crying. I feel like crying too. God, where are you in this? I wish i could see Your face. I feel alone. Restore the peace and joy in my heart Lord Jesus.

Guess who's back...?

Yo! Back to blog once again. Haha. I think i've not written a proper for very very long.

Ok just a little update on my life so far.

Inspection was due in camp for the first half of Feb so I was really busy preparing and working my ass off. Days were long and restless nights due to overwork made living only that much more unbearable. It was a trying period for me. Reminded me of the times when I was in BMT when God was more of a helper rather than Lord. Been away from church for nearly a month. Everything seems so faraway and disconnected. God seems so distant. It really got me down. But I thank God for Him still. Somehow in some strange ways He'll make things work out and then everything will be fine again. He calms the storm and brings out the sun. Praise the Lord! =)

Amidst the hardwork and stress, I really thank God for His provision. He gave me a precious gift, a gem that is so amazing and beautiful that words alone cannot describe. His gift really warms my heart and puts the joy in me. Thank you Lord for your gift. I'll cherish with all my heart and life and soul! =)

Alrighty.. Now.. Hope things in camp settle down to a low key so that I would have time to rest, to meet up with my brothers and sisters to fellowship. I believe that everything is linked. You can't survive just on prayer and reading God's Word without the key essence of fellowship. Otherwise, God would have called us all to be hermits right? Heh. =p

ok.. enough said.. i'll blog again sometime.. soon i hope.. haha.. till then, sayonara! ;0)