A Dream...

Hmmm.. much has happened.. the ups the downs.. and right now, everything is starting to straighten out.. and it's not about other people.. it's all just about me, within me.. the storm's calming, i can see the light from the lighthouse again.. the shore in the distant horizon still looks as beautiful.. the lights of the houses at night look like they're guiding me home.. when will i get home? i heard this somewhere.. that a dream that comes to is not a real dream.. come to think about it, it's pretty true.. a dream is like a fantasy, a fairytale.. if it comes true, then it won't be a dream.. it'll be a goal that we aimed for and achieved.. then it won't be magical.. it might even lose it's special feeling when it comes true, or more appropriately, achieved. life is about goals.. in everything we do, we aim for something, some target. a dream is beautiful and should be cherished.. it should be embraced and thought about.. but i guess we shouldn't chase our dreams nor try to make it come true.. who knows.. when we finally get our fairytale.. it won't last happily ever after instead.. i love my dreams.. those fairytales i cook up in my head.. they make me smile whenever i think of them.. so beautiful and sweet.. i tried to chase a few.. they didn't turn out well.. cos it's not exactly what i need.. it's just a fleeting thing.. dreams fade away when reality comes..

i wana grow old with you... yes you dear...

just remembered this song.. came floating into my head as i was playing with my guitar.. haha.. she taught me this song.. i remember singing it to her.. with my silly smile and the song in broken pieces cos my can't change chord that well then.. haha.. wish that someday i'll be able to sing the song to her again.. i know my heart still sings that song.. haha.. i wanna make you smile, whenever you're sad. Carry you around when your arthritis is bad. Oh, all i wanna do, is grow old with you. I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches, Build you a fire if the furnace breaks. Oh, it could be so nice, growin' old with you. I'll miss you, kiss you, Give you my coat when you are cold, need you, feed you. I'll even let you hold the remote control. So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when you've had too much to drink. Oh I could be the man who grows old with you. I wanna grow old with you...

*blank*

maybe i've been worrying too much.. maybe i've been thinking too much.. i feel so drained and so tired.. my fuel is empty i think.. can feel my engine sputtering and my gears getting stuck in mid-motion.. so sianz..